You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.
-Dr. Seuss

Sunday, April 13, 2014

I wish I did it for the growth not for the grade

I am tired and burnt out. My motivation to finish the school year with good grades or at least descent grades are not for some paper called a diploma that somehow validates who I am. My motivation is my provisional acceptance to San Jose state.

You know how I know that I am burnt...I am playing the game. I am playing the system. I am not learning I am passing by. I study, I work hard, I am a great student, but I have lost the love for school. Actually I am not sure if I ever liked it, far less ever loved it. The first emotion that comes with the word school for me is STRESS and HATE. I realize that education is valuable and I am so very lucky to have one in America. I also realize that school has taught me to accommodate to situations. If I have to pass a test or class I have to study for it. Basically what that means is cram all you can the day before...after the test forget everything! I am tired of being labeled as "smart" because I have a high percentage in a class. I hate schooling! It has taught me to LEARN FOR THE MOMENT but NOT FOR A LIFETIME. I am programmed to get stuff done for a grade. I am encouraged to follow the rules, and not to question the system.

I love learning...actually learning. Educating myself and others because we want to...NOT FOR A GRADE BUT FOR GROWTH!

I am burnt and now you know why.

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